THIRTY BELOW

THIRTY BELOW
a quick play by Anne de Mare

© copyright 1999 by Anne Catherine de Mare. All rights reserved. Contact Information.

THIRTY BELOW was first produced in The Adobe Theatre Company's Fleet The Time Festival; April 12 - 19, 1999.
It was later presented as part of The Seven Minute Series at The Ontological Theater; April 30 - May 16, 1999.

Character Breakdown (3 men, 2 women)

SLICK
BOO / THE GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE BOO
BIC
FIREMAN JACK
FIREMAN JILL

Play

(Urban landscape. Smoke and streetlamps. SLICK is alone on stage. In general, SLICK's narrative can be handled in a number of different ways, but it should be separate from the action of the piece in every instance, even when it is an aside in the middle of a scene. He is always on the streets somehow, after hours. He should, of course, be very slick.)

SLICK
It was a near hit near miss just skimmed the surface buzzed by the brain kind of a night. Beer and boredom. Deadly in the heat. Yeah, that's what it was, a missed me missed me now you gotta kiss me fucking in the backseat kind of a night. But nobody got fucked. Nobody had a car. (beat) You see the day had gone by without event and it was beginning to piss me off. It was my ninth month on a day job I didn't really mind and life was moving mean and easy. Somewhere deep in my gut I knew, no matter how soft the days were sliding by, that time was still driving like a mean drunk, fast on his way to nowhere, and I was just along for the ride. (beat) I stopped by Boo's for a beer.

(BOO's apartment. There is beer.)

BOO
There's a fire downtown.

SLICK
I wouldn't know.

BOO
Big fire. It's all over the news. I heard the sirens coming all the way from Waterville. Five alarmer. At least. (beat) I thought maybe I'd go down and watch. Flirt with the firemen. Roast marshmallows. You know, make a night of it.

SLICK
Where's Bic?

BOO
I don't know. Someplace else. Things were getting a little... intense. He might stop by. I don't know.

SLICK
Don't talk like that Boo, you and Bic are solid.

BOO
Yeah, solid as water. He's freaking Slick. Freaking bad. Something he got in the mail. Won't talk, won't sing, just freaking, you know how he gets. I wish he wouldn't, it makes me want to, you know, throw it all away too. Makes me think I should go downtown. Get a little wild. I've still got it in me to get wild, not like the old days, but almost. Do you remember the old days Slick?

(BOO's apartment vanishes.)

SLICK
That was my cue to leave. Bic's a good man, straight up, and I couldn't get caught in that kind of brainwave. Not tonight. The old days were just last summer and I was always a little weak in the knees around Boo. Even if I was wrong about where she was headed, I didn't want to know. I wanted neon and beer and a woman who didn't know my mother's name. So I jumped a train downtown. There was money in my pocket but I wanted to jump it. Figured I deserved a free ride tonight. I needed to get close to the fire. Cool my heels in the smoke. Bic was there. He was kissing some dame down and dirty on the side of the road.

(BIC appears by the side of the road, kissing THE GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE BOO. She looks more like BOO than BOO does, but is not BOO. SLICK does a double take.)

BIC
Hey Slick.

SLICK
Hey Bic.

BIC
(to the chick) Beat it.

GIRL LIKE BOO
Bye.

(THE GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE BOO walks away. SLICK watches her disappear.)

SLICK
Boo said you got mail today.

BIC
Yeah.

SLICK
Boo's freaking out.

BIC
She's not the only one.

(Beat.)

SLICK
You gonna talk to me?

BIC
It wasn't just mail Slick, it was a package. A tight little package wrapped in brown paper and too much packing tape. Like what they put in there wants to get out and they had to strap it in real tight. I don't get packages Slick. It's not my style.

SLICK
Who from?

BIC
No return.

SLICK
Postmark?

BIC
Mississippi.

(Beat.)

SLICK
You sure?

BIC
Pass Christian, Mississippi. I looked it up. A little dot on the gulf. A little dot of a town that looks like they almost didn't bother to put it on the map.

SLICK
Who do you know in Mississippi?

BIC
Nobody. I'm scared to open it. Scared Slick. For no good reason. I never get scared. It's why I couldn't deal with Boo. I'm too freaked out.

SLICK
Where is it?

BIC
In my pocket.

SLICK
That small?

BIC
Smaller. I got a bad feeling about it Slick. Real bad.

(Beat.)

SLICK
Bic took the package from his pocket. A neat little number with his name, address, and zip code printed tight and careful in three little lines. It felt like trouble in my fingers. A whole lot of trouble. Bic and I didn't say a word. I held the package. Bic looked at the ground. We walked. Down along Green Street towards the river. It was all about the smell coming off the fire and that little package sweating in my hand. Boo was right. It was a big fire. The firemen were out by the thousands and the blaze was beating them. It was beating them bad. It had already taken out the old warehouses on North Water and was creeping, slow and laughing, towards the little houses along Grove. And just past the little houses were the big ones. It knew where it was headed.

(FIREMAN JACK and FIREMAN JILL appear. They are red and shiny. They carry pails of water.)

FIREMAN JILL
This is one mean fire.

FIREMAN JACK
The worst one yet.

FIREMAN JILL
I got a bad feeling about it Jack. Real bad. I've never seen a fire so mean. Downright nasty. This is the kind of fire you throw everything you've got at and it still keeps burning. The kind you keep thinking will burn itself out but never does, no, this is the kind of fire that'll burn right through you. Makes me want to turn tail and run. (beat) I never want to run, Jack, it's not my style.

FIREMAN JACK
She's a mean one, that's for sure. And she's something else too. Something I can't put my finger on.

FIREMAN JILL
You know, I heard the Captain say something just now and I swear it's true -- this one feels like someone else's problem. I look into those flames and all I can think about is a cold beer and a dry bed and reading about what happened tonight in the newspaper tomorrow morning and thinking 'well, ain't that a shame'.

(FIREMAN JACK and FIREMAN JILL disappear.)

SLICK
I was just about to tell Bic we should beat the fire scene and get a beer, go back to Boo's and set the record straight, open that sweaty little bundle in my hand and face it dead on. I was just about to tell him all that when we turned the corner of Main and Music, and there she was, with the whole of downtown burning behind her, there was the girl who looked like Boo.

GIRL LIKE BOO
Hi Bic.

BIC
Hi.

SLICK
She looked like Boo alright, more like Boo than Boo did. She was the one Bic had been getting down and dirty with back by the side of the road. She stood there, so cool and clean in all the smoke and fire that there was something downright creepy about it. My first instinct was to turn tail and run, but I looked over at Bic, and got stopped dead in my tracks. I thought about something Boo had told me, years ago, that she thought Bic was doomed. That there was something almost sacred about how doomed he was, like she knew the hand of God was going to come down from the clouds one night and erase him so completely she wouldn't be able to remember his name. At the time I thought she was nuts. Now I thought maybe she'd been right all along.

(BIC and THE GIRL WHO LOOKS LIKE BOO enter into a heavy embrace. We hear BOO's voice leaving a message for BIC.)

BOO
Bic, hi, it's me, Boo. I'm looking for you, and I can't find you and I'm thinking you're lost. Getting so lost you won't be able to find me. But you know where I am. I'll be here a little longer. Call me.

BIC
Hell of a fire, isn't it?

GIRL LIKE BOO
I wouldn't know.

BIC
You want something cold to drink?

GIRL LIKE BOO
Sure. Why not. I got time. Bring one back for your friend.

SLICK
She winked at me. You could've knocked me over with a feather. Who the hell was she and why did she look like Boo, and moreover, what did she have to do with that little package sweating in my hand? She had something to do with it and I knew it, and she knew I knew it. Bic, well, he was clueless. What I needed was answers, and I knew I wasn't going to get them straight. Bic went off through the smoke to find something cool for us to drink. I began to wish I'd taken Boo up on her offer tonight, beginning to wish I was all warm and wet and feeling guilty. But I wasn't. I was standing by the edge of the blaze wanting to deck the prettiest girl I'd ever seen right between the eyes.

(BIC is gone.)

GIRL LIKE BOO
Hi.

SLICK
Hi.

GIRL LIKE BOO
You a friend of Bic's?

SLICK
We go back a bit.

GIRL LIKE BOO
I like Bic. A lot. He's got something I've been looking for,

SLICK
Really?

GIRL LIKE BOO
Something I lost by mistake.

SLICK
I kept my mouth shut and a gas station blew up around the corner. We stood and watched the flames mushroom and flatten, watched the smoke start to move, heavy as lead, towards us.

(FIREMAN JACK and FIREMAN JILL burst on the scene.)

FIREMAN JACK
Jesus!

FIREMAN JILL
I told you it was mean.

FIREMAN JACK
Did you see the way it just blew that baby up?

FIREMAN JILL
No warning, no nothing, just went in through the back door and BOOM!

FIREMAN JACK
You know that's it. The Captain was right, this one is someone else's problem. I'm tired and I'm hungry and I'm gonna go home.

(FIREMAN JACK begins to take off his fireman stuff. FIREMAN JILL does the same. Under their coats they are dressed like BIC and BOO.)

SLICK
What are you doing?

FIREMAN JACK
What does it look like?

FIREMAN JILL
It's obvious we're not going to beat this one and I'm through trying.

FIREMAN JACK
Yeah. Let it eat the town up like an ice cream cone, see if I care, I'm outta here.

SLICK
You can't quit!

FIREMAN JACK
Hey! Back off buddy! I don't remember signing a piece of paper that said I would go down smiling just to save your scrawny little ass. You got a problem with it, take it up with the Captain.

SLICK
Don't tempt me!

FIREMAN JILL
Good luck finding him.

FIREMAN JACK
He walked off the job twenty minutes ago!

(FIREMAN JACK and FIREMAN JILL exit laughing.)

SLICK
I was just about to deck the guy when I saw the rest of them. Scurrying out of every corner of the blaze, dragging their ladders and hoses and little red hats behind them like so many tails between their legs. The firemen were leaving. By the thousands. Getting back in their shiny red trucks and heading home with the whole town burning behind them.

GIRL LIKE BOO
Don't be such a sucker Slick.

SLICK
What are you talking about?

GIRL LIKE BOO
You can hold that little package in your hand and guard it with your life, you can stay away from Boo, you can stand by Bic no matter how much he lets you down, and you can feel damned good about yourself. You got what you need. A day job you don't really mind and a life of time that slides by mean and easy. Bic pulled a fast one on you Slick and you didn't see it coming. He went back to Boo and left his trouble sweating in your hand. It's all yours now, hell, it's even got your name on it. Why don't you go ahead and open it? You got nothing to lose.

SLICK
Who are you?

GIRL LIKE BOO
I'm nobody Slick. I'm just some chick who looks like Boo.

SLICK
From Mississippi?

GIRL LIKE BOO
Yeah Slick, that's right, from Pass Christian, Mississippi. Little dot on the gulf. Careful with the bundle. You're sweating too much.

SLICK
I looked down at the package in my hand and I was sweating too much. Bic's name was smeared out and something was written underneath. I didn't want to know what it said. I turned to grab the girl who looked like Boo, grab her and shake something out of her, but she wasn't there anymore. She was walking into the fire. Head on, and before I knew it, she was gone. I started to feel dizzy. I needed to get out of there. The flames were moving fast and there was nothing but air standing in their way. I heard someone laughing and felt a chill roll up my spine and next thing I knew I was out cold. (beat, SLICK lights a cigarette) I woke up the next morning on Boo's couch. I could hear her and Bic laughing in the bedroom. There was coffee on the stove and I had one hell of a hangover. I was just about to write the whole night off, write it off as nothing but too much beer and a guilty conscience, when I felt that little package still burning in my fist. It had my name on it alright, clear as day, and a postmark from Mississippi. I ripped off the tape and opened the little box and watched as something fell onto the floor -- blue tip matches, about a dozen of them, and one of them was burnt to a cinder. (beat) I grabbed my coat and walked out the door. I was late for work.

BLACKOUT

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