NUMB - Long Version Script

Note: This is the script for the full one act, a ten minute version of this play is also available.

NUMB
a short play by Anne de Mare

© copyright 1996, 1999 by Anne Catherine de Mare. All rights reserved. Contact Information.

NUMB was first produced as part of The Downstairs Series at The Ontological Theater; January 13 - 28, 1996.

Character Breakdown (2 women, 1 man)

WENDY - a desperate woman
GLADYS - another of the same
THE POLAR BEAR - male

Play

(A warm day on the Arctic circle. Two women, frozen stiff. They are stuck in an iceberg. Only their heads, a few hands and fewer feet are visible. The remainder of the landscape is very very white. A long empty silence.)

WENDY
It's warm today.

GLADYS
Not above freezing.

WENDY
I didn't say above freezing.

GLADYS
Then it's not warm.

WENDY
Warm is a relative thing.

GLADYS
Can you move?

WENDY
Just my mouth.

GLADYS
Can you see?

WENDY
Just a little.

GLADYS
Can you feel?

WENDY
Not my fingers.

GLADYS
THEN IT'S NOT WARM!

(Beat.)

WENDY
Okay, so it's not warm.

GLADYS
Then why did you say it?

WENDY
I thought it was.

GLADYS
You thought it was?

WENDY
Yes.

GLADYS
Do you know what happens when you think something? When you think something OUT LOUD? (WENDY is shamefully silent) I HAVE TO THINK IT TOO!

(Beat.)

WENDY
This is not turning out to be a good day.

GLADYS
We have good ones?

WENDY
What do you mean, 'we have good ones?', of course we have good ones, sometimes, when we don't think too much about it. We have good ones all the time.

GLADYS
When we don't think about it?

WENDY
Yes, when we don't think about it.

GLADYS
I CAN'T NOT THINK ABOUT IT!!! (a long silence as GLADYS tries not to think about it) I try not to think about it and I can't. I try not to let it get to me and I can't. I try and try and try to get over it all and I just can't!

WENDY
You could try a little harder. For my sake. You could try just a little harder.

(GLADYS looks at WENDY. GLADYS looks away.)

GLADYS
I should have a sense of humor. I know. It would help. I should laugh. Get on with my life. Make the best of it. Stiff upper lip and all. I should try not to take it all so seriously. It's just that sometimes it gets to me, you know, it really gets to me. I've never been good with glee, and I can't seem to fake it anymore. (beat) I AM STUCK IN A CHUNK OF ICE!!!

WENDY
I'm not going to think about it. I'm not going to think about it at all! That's how I get through the day!

(Beat.)

GLADYS
If only...

WENDY
Don't say it!

GLADYS
If only we knew when IT was coming.

WENDY
IT's not coming and I'm not thinking about IT.

GLADYS
You must think about IT!

WENDY
Never.

GLADYS
But it's what we've been waiting for.

WENDY
We're not waiting for anything, And WE'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT IT!!!

GLADYS
You're impossible.

WENDY
I'm impossible?

GLADYS
Yes.

WENDY
I'm not talking to you today.

GLADYS
Fine. I don't want to talk to you anyway.

WENDY
Good!

(Beat.)

GLADYS
You never understood me.

WENDY
I never tried.

GLADYS
I tried to understand you.

WENDY
And you never did.

(The two women look at each other. It's a little ugly. They look away. A long silence.)

GLADYS
I wish we were having a good day.

WENDY
It's better when we're having a good day.

GLADYS
I really need a good day.

WENDY
Yes, well, anything could happen.

GLADYS
Even the impossible?

WENDY
Anything at all.

(Beat.)

GLADYS
Really?

WENDY
Yes.

(Beat.)

GLADYS
What do you know about that.

WENDY
Life is weird.

(Beat. The wind dies down.)

GLADYS
You know, it does feel a little warmer today.

WENDY
I told you so.

GLADYS
Maybe even above freezing.

WENDY
I wouldn't go that far.

GLADYS
It's definitely warmer today. Yes. Much warmer. You forget what warm is, that's all, once you succumb to the cold, you forget what warm is like. It's warm. Definitely warm. And it's going to be a... good... day.

WENDY
But you were saying...

GLADYS
IT'S WARM TODAY. You'll see, it's going to... I'm going to make it a... good... day... Wendy?

WENDY
What?

GLADYS
It's starting again.

WENDY
Oh no!

GLADYS
All over again.

WENDY
Not again!

GLADYS
It's starting all over again.

WENDY
Can't you stop it?

GLADYS
It's too late. You know how it goes. How awful it is... (she tries not to say it) How awful it is to have...

WENDY
Don't say it! Don't say it!

GLADYS
HOPE!

WENDY
No! No! I cannot handle any more hope! I had hope! I had a whole lot of hope! Look what it did to me! Look what it did to both of us!

GLADYS
I can't help it! Just when you think you've got it beat, just when you think you'll never have to hope again, the damned thing comes back to haunt you!

WENDY
Stop it!

GLADYS
I can't! I can't stop it! I DON'T WANT TO STOP IT!

WENDY
Well there goes this afternoon.

GLADYS
Get ready!

WENDY
I'm ready.

GLADYS
Get set!

WENDY
I'm set.

GLADYS
Go!

WENDY
I hate this part.

(GLADYS bursts out into song. She sings. WENDY starts crying. She cries. Through her tears she manages to join GLADYS for the chorus.)

GLADYS
Just what makes that little old ant
Think he can move that rubber tree plant
Everyone knows and ant
Can't
Move a rubber tree plant
But he's got

WENDY & GLADYS
HIGH HOPE
He's got
HIGH HOPE
He's got
High apple pie in the sky HOPE!

So anytime you're getting low
Instead of letting go
Just remember that ant!

Whoops there goes another rubber tree,
Whoops there goes another rubber tree,
Whoops there goes another rubber tree plant.

(A long deflated silence.)

WENDY
Are you done now?

GLADYS
I think so.

WENDY
Is it over?

GLADYS
Yes.

WENDY
Thank goodness.

GLADYS
I know, I'm sorry.

WENDY
You should be.

GLADYS
I don't know what came over me.

WENDY
It comes over you all the time.

GLADYS
I know.

WENDY
It's awful!

GLADYS
I said I was sorry.

WENDY
Don't think about it anymore.

GLADYS
Alright.

WENDY
Promise?

GLADYS
I SAID ALRIGHT.

WENDY
Good.

(Beat.)

GLADYS
You know, you're the one who started it. Talking about how warm it was.

WENDY
Don't you think I know that?

(A long silence. GLADYS is restless.)

GLADYS
What do we do now?

WENDY
We sit in our misery.

GLADYS
Oh.

WENDY
And we try not to think about it.

(A long silence. Wind.)

GLADYS
How long do you think it's been?

WENDY
It doesn't matter.

GLADYS
No, I suppose not. Time has no meaning anymore, not when you're frozen stiff.

WENDY
I'M STILL TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT!!!

(Beat. GLADYS looks at WENDY. GLADYS looks away.)

GLADYS
You know, I've decided that you're crazy.

WENDY
I'm crazy?

GLADYS
Bonkers.

WENDY
Really?

GLADYS
Certifiable.

WENDY
You think so?

GLADYS
Yes. OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP.

WENDY
You think I ought to be locked up? Of the two of us, you think I'm the one who ought to be locked up?

GLADYS
Yes. LOCKED UP. A certified loon.
WENDY
And who's going to certify me? Out here? Who are you going to get to certify me out here? The God-damned POLAR BEAR!!!

(Both women scream. Light change. Chase music. Both women start frantically mumbling obscure prayers. Grumbling roaring sounds. The POLAR BEAR crosses the stage, sniffing around as he goes. The women follow him, terrified, with their eyes. Music fades out, lights return to normal. Both women are panting from fear.)

GLADYS
My God that was close.

WENDY
Closer than ever.

GLADYS
He's going to find us one day.

WENDY
Don't think about it.

GLADYS
One warm day, when we start to smell human again, he's going to find us, he's going to find us and...

WENDY
I said DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!

GLADYS
You're right. This time you're right. I won't think about that. No, not that. I'll think about other things, but not that.

WENDY
Thank God.

(A long empty silence.)

GLADYS
Well, this has been a fun day. Yes, a fun day. And it's only just beginning. Hours and hours yet to come, then the night, the night will come and then another day. Another day. Another night. Another day. Another night. It will just continue like this, night after day after night after day after night after day, yes, that is what will happen.

WENDY
Yes.

(Another long pause. The sound of wind overtakes the stage. Night falls. Lights fade down and then up again on a new day. The wind is deafening.)

GLADYS
Wendy?!!!!

WENDY
Gladys?!!!!

(beat)

GLADYS
Nothing!!!!

(The day ends. Lights fade down, wind dies down, lights fade up again. A long silence.)

WENDY
There's nothing we can do.

GLADYS
There's nothing we can do.

WENDY
There must be something we could do.

GLADYS
No, there's nothing we can do.

WENDY
We could try to have a good day.

GLADYS
Too risky.

(Long beat.)

WENDY
We could talk?

GLADYS
(concerned) Talk?

WENDY
(slowly) Yes. Talk. I could say something then you could say something then I could say something back.

GLADYS
But...

WENDY
It'll be nice. You'll see.

GLADYS
It won't be too much for us?

WENDY
No, it won't be too much for us.

GLADYS
PROMISE?

(The two women look at each other.)

WENDY
I promise.

(The two women look away.)

GLADYS
Okay.

WENDY
Good. We're going to talk. Yes. Talk. (long pause) It's strange, now that we're talking, I mean, it's good, that we're talking, but... I don't have anything to talk about. (pause) It's not like there's any news. Nothing happened. Nothing happened to me. It's not like I went anywhere or did anything. It's not like there's actually anything to say. My god. There's nothing to say. Nothing at all. (panic) Gladys, I've run out of things to say!

GLADYS
Wendy....

WENDY
What can I talk about? There must be something. Well, there's one thing, but... the only thing... but, no... NO! I won't! I can't! I REFUSE to talk about the WEATHER!!!

GLADYS
I told you it would be too much for us.

WENDY
Why don't you ever think of anything to say? You never think of anything to say! You never do anything for me! Name one thing you ever did for me! You never did anything at all! I might as well be out here alone, the way you treat me. I might as well be out here all alone, just me and the God-damned POLAR BEAR!

(Both women scream. Light change. Chase music. Both women start frantically mumbling obscure prayers. Grumbling roaring sounds. The POLAR BEAR crosses the stage. Music fades out, lights return to normal. Both women are panting from fear.)

GLADYS
He's looking thin, don't you think he's looking thin?

WENDY
I thought he was looking fat.

GLADYS
No, he is definitely looking thinner these days.

WENDY
Is that good or bad?

GLADYS
I'm not sure. It could be either.

WENDY
Maybe he's sick?

GLADYS
He didn't act sick.

WENDY
But you said he looked thinner!

GLADYS
Now I'm not sure!

WENDY
Then why did you say it?!

GLADYS
I don't know!

(Panic. Both women scream. Beat.)

WENDY
When will it happen?

GLADYS
Only time can tell.

WENDY
I hate time.

GLADYS
Yes.

WENDY
And worst of all, I'm thinking about it.

GLADYS
Sometimes you just can't help yourself, especially after something like that.

WENDY
No. I suppose not.

GLADYS
I mean, I'm thinking about it. I'm always thinking about it. I can't stop thinking about it. I should be able to stop thinking about it, I mean I'm the one that's doing the thinking but I can't... I just can't stop thinking. THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK THINK.

WENDY
Gladys...

GLADYS
I HATE MY BRAIN!!!!!

WENDY
Get it under control!

GLADYS
I am under control. That's the problem. That is the whole damned problem. Can't you tell? (she sobs) It's just that I always thought, back then, you know, before... I always thought that if a person were, well, if a person were in our type of situation, that a person would hallucinate or something.

WENDY
True.

GLADYS
That you would, well, you know, go insane, leave, lose all sense of reality. I thought the mind, the mind would go somewhere else, protect a person from the harsh reality of something like this. Insanity should have a reason, you know, it should be there to protect a person from all this wh... all this wh... I mean look at all this wh...

WENDY
What's your point?

GLADYS
Well, I think it would be nicer maybe, if we would hallucinate or something. A break from all this wh... all this wh...

WENDY
All this WHITE?

GLADYS
Yes.

(Beat. WENDY gets an idea.)

WENDY
I just had an idea.

GLADYS
Yes?

WENDY
A wonderful idea.

GLADYS
Yes?

WENDY
What if...

GLADYS
Yes?

WENDY
What if he's...

GLADYS
Yes?

WENDY
What if the Polar Bear is a hallucination!

(The women do quick mathematics on the idea. A beat.)

GLADYS
Don't do this.

WENDY
How would we know? We wouldn't know! We couldn't know! That's the joy of the hallucination, we wouldn't know!

GLADYS
Do you know what you're doing? Do you know the consequences of going down this road? You're starting to give us...

WENDY
I know! I know!

BOTH
HOPE!!!

GLADYS
Just keep it under control.

WENDY
We can handle a little hope.

GLADYS
Sure we can.

WENDY
Just a little.

GLADYS
We won't get too excited.

WENDY
Yes, we'll keep it under control.

GLADYS
In perspective.

WENDY
Not get carried away.

GLADYS
You know what happens when we get carried away.

WENDY
Yes, it's awful.

GLADYS
It's always the same.

WENDY
We can't risk it.

GLADYS
No.

WENDY
We've got to stay calm.

GLADYS
Cool.

WENDY
Collected.

(They try to stay calm cool and collected.)

BOTH
(like children) WE'RE NOT GONNA GET EATEN!!! WE'RE NOT GONNA GET EATEN!!!

GLADYS
And it's warm today!

WENDY
Warmer than ever!

GLADYS
Way above freezing!

WENDY
It won't be long now!

GLADYS
We'll thaw!

WENDY
Thaw!

GLADYS
And head home!

WENDY
Home!

GLADYS
In front of the fire.

WENDY
A fire!

GLADYS
Just think.

WENDY
Hot chocolate!

GLADYS
Hot soup!

WENDY
Eggs and sausages!

GLADYS
And toast!

WENDY
Oh! Toast!

GLADYS
It'll all be forgotten!

WENDY
Over and done!

GLADYS
We'll get on with things!

WENDY
Oh! Things!

GLADYS
It won't be long!

WENDY
No, not long now!

(They prepare to thaw.)

GLADYS
No.

WENDY
It won't be long.

(They await their thaw.)

GLADYS
Sooner than we think.

WENDY
It'll take us by surprise.

(They aren't thawing.)

GLADYS
Yes...

WENDY
Yes...

(A long long long silence. Both women start to cry.)

GLADYS
I can't believe it.

WENDY
We did it again.

GLADYS
After all we've been through.

WENDY
We should know better.

GLADYS
We're such fools.

WENDY
Frozen fools.

GLADYS
Doomed.

WENDY
Done for.

GLADYS
Awaiting the inevitable.

WENDY
The unspeakable.

GLADYS
And stupid enough to have...

BOTH
...HOPE!!!

(They sob. The days go by. Lights fade down and up (cursing day) and down and up (GLADYS screams/WENDY angry face) and down and up (GLADYS passes out/WENDY stares cross-eyed) and down and up again.)

WENDY
It's not warm today.

GLADYS
No.

WENDY
It's cold.

(A long pause. More days go by. Lights fade down and up (GLADYS fish face/WENDY holds breath) and down and up (GLADYS rolls head/WENDY pants) and down and up (GLADYS stares/WENDY stares) and down and up (GLADYS laughs/WENDY chews) and down and up (GLADYS cries/WENDY spits) and down and up (funny noises day) and down and up again.)

GLADYS
How long do you think it's been?

WENDY
I can't tell.

GLADYS
Any feeling?

WENDY
Just in my nose.

GLADYS
How does it feel?

(Beat. WENDY looks at GLADYS.)

WENDY
It's cold.

GLADYS
Oh. Yes. Of course.

(The women start to giggle. They exhaust themselves with laughter. The laughter dies down.)

WENDY
How about you?

GLADYS
No, nothing.

WENDY
We're doing better, don't you think?

GLADYS
Better?

WENDY
You and I, we don't fight so much anymore.

GLADYS
No, not anymore.

WENDY
It's a good thing.

GLADYS
Yes.

WENDY
And really, what would be the point.

GLADYS
Yes.

(Beat.)

WENDY
He hasn't been around much... you know... the...

GLADYS
No, he hasn't been around much.

WENDY
That's a good thing.

GLADYS
I suppose.

WENDY
Maybe...

GLADYS
Maybe what?

WENDY
Maybe he's... you know...

GLADYS
You mean...

(A long pregnant pause.)

BOTH
DEAD!

(The women explode in laughter again. The laughter dies down. A beat.)

GLADYS
I wonder if we'll die.

WENDY
Death is inevitable.

GLADYS
I don't know...

WENDY
DEATH IS INEVITABLE!!!

GLADYS
They've thawed them out you know, ice-age people, alive and ticking.

WENDY
No!

GLADYS
Yes. The system slows down so much, they go into suspended animation, and they don't die.

WENDY
(after an anguished pause) I can't think about that.

GLADYS
No, I suppose not.

(Beat.)

WENDY
Let's do something.

GLADYS
Do something? What could we do?

WENDY
I don't know. We could scream.

GLADYS
We screamed ourselves silly once.

WENDY
We could do it again.

GLADYS
All it did was bring him around. Remember?

WENDY
No.

GLADYS
We swore that we'd never...

WENDY
OKAY! So we won't scream.

(Beat.)

GLADYS We can scream if you want to, it's just...

WENDY
I don't want to scream anymore.

GLADYS
But you were saying...

WENDY
We're not going to scream.

GLADYS
I'm just trying to help.

WENDY
Well you're not!

(Beat.)

GLADYS
You don't have to yell at me.

(Beat. WENDY turns and screams in GLADYS' face. Another beat.)

GLADYS
Sometimes I hate you.

WENDY
Yeah, well, I hate you too.

GLADYS
Sometimes I really really hate you.

WENDY
That's nice.

GLADYS
Doesn't it bother you?

WENDY
No.

GLADYS
NO?!

WENDY
You hate me. Big deal. It's not like you can do anything about it.

GLADYS
It should bother you anyway.

WENDY
Why?

GLADYS
Because it should!

WENDY
Well it doesn't.

GLADYS
You... You... You...

WENDY
Don't you wish you could DO something about it Gladys? IT'S DRIVING YOU CRAZY, ISN'T IT? You hate me. You hate me to the very bottom of your soul and you can't DO a damned thing about it. What are you going to DO about it Gladys?

GLADYS
Don't push me.

WENDY
Oooh. I'm scared.

GLADYS
I could do one thing.

WENDY
What?

GLADYS
I could SAY something.

WENDY
You wouldn't dare!

GLADYS
I've been wanting to for a long long time, I haven't, out of consideration for you I haven't, but boy have I been wanting to.

WENDY
You promised.

GLADYS
I'm finally going to tell you, YES, after all this time I'm finally going to say it!

WENDY
Gladys...

GLADYS
This is all your fault!

WENDY
Please...

GLADYS
I'm going to say it again and again and again! It's YOUR FAULT! All of it is YOUR FAULT! We wouldn't be stuck here if it wasn't for you! You and your IDIOCY, your STUPID BLATANT IDIOCY!!! It will always be YOUR FAULT. Today and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow it will be YOUR FAULT. After the polar bear has feasted on our frozen carcasses, from now until the end of TIME it will always be YOUR FAULT!!!

(The POLAR BEAR enters. A stifled scream from both the ladies. He moves slowly and casually, sniffing his way around. He gives out a roaring yawn, curls up, and goes to sleep.)

WENDY
(whispered) Gladys!

GLADYS
(whispered) Hush!

WENDY
(whispered) Do you see?

GLADYS
(whispered) Of course I see!

WENDY
(whispered) What'll we do?

GLADYS
(whispered) Nothing, we do nothing. We just stay still and be quiet.

WENDY
(whispered) Stay still and be quiet?

GLADYS
(whispered) Yes!

(A long long pause. The POLAR BEAR snores.)

WENDY
(whispered) Gladys?

GLADYS
(whispered) Wendy?

WENDY
(whispered) Is he still there?

GLADYS
(whispered) Yes, he's still there.

(A long pause.)

WENDY
(whispered) Gladys?

GLADYS
(whispered) What?!

WENDY
(whispered) He's been here a long time.

GLADYS
(whispered) Yes.

(A long pause.)

WENDY
(whispered) What's he doing?

GLADYS
(whispered) Maybe he's hibernating.

WENDY
(whispered) Here?

GLADYS
(whispered) Why not?

(A long pause.)

WENDY
(whispered) I'm afraid.

GLADYS
(whispered) I know.

(A long pause.)

WENDY
(whispered) This is awful.

GLADYS
(whispered) I know.

WENDY
I mean this is really awful.

GLADYS
(whispered) Quiet!

WENDY
Quiet! You want me to be quiet?! I'm not going to be quiet! I'm not going to be quiet at all! I can't take it anymore! Any of it! I just can't take it!

GLADYS
(whispered) Please!

WENDY
I hope he wakes up! I hope he wakes up and I hope he eats me! I want to die an agonizing death! I want to die any death! I can't take it anymore!

GLADYS
What about me?

WENDY
To hell with you!

GLADYS
Wendy!

WENDY
That's right! To hell with you! To hell with me! To hell with everything!

GLADYS
You don't know what you're saying!

WENDY
I know what I'm saying! I know exactly what I'm saying!

GLADYS
You can't!

WENDY
Why not? Why not? Should I think about TOMORROW? Should I look forward to ANOTHER DAY? Should I have HOPE?! Should I have HIGH HOPE Gladys?! Should I sing the damned song?!

GLADYS
Stop it!

WENDY
Just what makes that little old ant!
Think he can move that rubber tree plant!
Everyone knows and ant!
Can't!
Move a rubber tree plant!
But he's got

HIGH HOPE!
I've got
HIGH HOPE!
I've got
High apple pie in the sky HOPE!

So anytime you're getting low
Instead of letting go
Just remember that ANT!

(As WENDY sings at the top of her lungs, the POLAR BEAR starts to wake up. GLADYS starts madly struggling within her block of ice. The POLAR BEAR sits up, fascinated by it all. There is a huge cracking sound as GLADYS breaks free from the ice. She stumbles, falls, and stands. Everyone stops and stares.)

WENDY
Gladys!

GLADYS
Wendy!

WENDY
Gladys...

GLADYS
Wendy...

(They look at each other for a long time. GLADYS takes off for the hills, the POLAR BEAR takes a step towards her, then stops and goes over to WENDY. He looks at her for a while, then begins to swat at her like he' s a kitten playing with a mouse. She sings softly.)

WENDY
Whoops there goes another rubber tree,
Whoops there goes another rubber tree,
Whoops there goes another rubber tree plant.

BLACKOUT

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