NUMB - Short Version Script

Note: This is a ten minute version of the play, a full one act script is also available, running approximately 30 minutes.

NUMB
a quick play by Anne de Mare

© copyright 1998, 1999 by Anne Catherine de Mare. All rights reserved. Contact Information.

This short version of NUMB was a finalist in the 1998 National Ten Minute Play Contest at Actors Theatre of Louisville.
It was first produced as part of SoHo Rep's Ten Minute Play Festival; July 10 - 11, 1999.

Character Breakdown (2 women, 1 man)

WENDY - a desperate woman
GLADYS - another of the same
THE POLAR BEAR - male

Play

(A warm day on the Arctic circle. Two women, frozen stiff. They are stuck in an iceberg. Only their heads, a few hands and fewer feet are visible. The remainder of the landscape is very very white. A long empty silence.)

WENDY
It's warm today.

GLADYS
Not above freezing.

WENDY
I didn't say above freezing.

GLADYS
Then it's not warm.

WENDY
Warm is a relative thing.

GLADYS
Can you move?

WENDY
Just my mouth.

GLADYS
Can you see?

WENDY
Just a little.

GLADYS
Can you feel?

WENDY
Not my fingers.

GLADYS
THEN IT'S NOT WARM!

(Beat.)

WENDY
Okay. So it's not warm.

GLADYS
Then why did you say it?

WENDY
I thought it was.

GLADYS
You thought it was?

WENDY
Yes.

GLADYS
Do you know what happens when you think something? When you think something OUT LOUD? (WENDY is shamefully silent) I HAVE TO THINK IT TOO!

(Beat.)

WENDY
This is not turning out to be a good day.

GLADYS
We have good ones?

WENDY
What do you mean, 'we have good ones?', of course we have good ones, sometimes, when we don't think too much about it. We have good ones all the time.

GLADYS
When we don't think about it?

WENDY
Yes, when we don't think about it.

GLADYS
I CAN'T NOT THINK ABOUT IT!!! (a long silence) I should have a sense of humor. I know. It would help. I should laugh. Get on with my life. Make the best of it. Stiff upper lip and all. I should try not to take it all so seriously. It's just that sometimes it gets to me, you know, it really gets to me. I've never been good with glee, and I can't seem to fake it anymore. (beat) I AM STUCK IN A CHUNK OF ICE!!!

WENDY
I'm not going to think about it. I'm not going to think about it at all. That's how I get through the day!

(Beat.)

GLADYS
You're impossible.

WENDY
I'm impossible?

GLADYS
Yes.

WENDY
I'm not talking to you today.

GLADYS
Fine. I don't want to talk to you anyway.

WENDY
Good!

(Beat. GLADYS looks at WENDY. GLADYS looks away.)

GLADYS
I've decided that you're crazy.

WENDY
Crazy?

GLADYS
Bonkers.

WENDY
Really?

GLADYS
Certifiable.

WENDY
You think so?

GLADYS
Yes. OUGHT TO BE LOCKED UP.

WENDY
You think I ought to be locked up? Of the two of us, you think I'm the one who ought to be locked up?

GLADYS
Yes. LOCKED UP. A certified loon.

WENDY
And who's going to certify me? Out here? Who are you going to get to certify me out here? The God-damned POLAR BEAR!!!

(Both women scream. Light change. Chase music. Both women start frantically mumbling obscure prayers. Grumbling roaring sounds. The POLAR BEAR crosses the stage. Music fades out, lights return to normal. Both women are panting from fear.)

GLADYS
He's looking thin, don't you think he's looking thin?

WENDY
I thought he was looking fat.

GLADYS
No, he is definitely looking thinner these days.

WENDY
Is that good or bad?

GLADYS
I'm not sure. It could be either.

WENDY
Maybe he's sick?

GLADYS
He didn't act sick.

WENDY
But you said he looked thinner!

GLADYS
Now I'm not sure!

WENDY
Then why did you say it?!

GLADYS
I don't know!

(Panic. Both women scream. Beat.)

GLADYS
He's going to find us one day.

WENDY
Don't think about it.

GLADYS
One warm day, when we start to smell human again, he's going to find us, he's going to find us and...

WENDY
I said DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!

GLADYS
You're right. This time you're right. I won't think about that. No, not that. I'll think about other things, but not that.

WENDY
Thank God.

(A long empty silence.)

GLADYS
Well, this has been fun. Yes, a fun day. And it's only just beginning. Hours and hours yet to come, then the night, the night will come and then another day. Another day. Another night. Another day. Another night. It will just continue like this, night after day after night after day after night after day, yes, that is what will happen.

WENDY
Yes.

(Another long pause. The sound of wind overtakes the stage. Night falls. Lights fade down and then up again on a new day. The wind is deafening.)

GLADYS
Wendy?!!!!

WENDY
Gladys?!!!!

GLADYS
Nothing!!!!

(The day ends. Lights fade down, wind dies down, lights fade up again. A long silence.)

WENDY
There's nothing we can do?

GLADYS
There's nothing we can do.

WENDY
There must be something we could do.

GLADYS
No, there's nothing we can do.

WENDY
We could try to have a good day?

GLADYS
Too risky.

(Beat. WENDY gets an idea.)

WENDY
I just had an idea.

GLADYS
Yes?

WENDY
I mean, it's possible isn't it? Out here in all this... white, I mean, it's possible, with our defenses low, our eyes... our brains... I mean everything is frozen...

GLADYS
What are you getting at?

WENDY
What if...

GLADYS
Yes?

WENDY
What if he's...

GLADYS
Yes?

WENDY
What if the Polar Bear is just a hallucination.

(GLADYS does quick mathematics on the idea. A beat.)

GLADYS
Don't do this.

WENDY
It's completely possible. We can't trust our own thoughts, if there's one thing we've learned it's that we can't trust our own thoughts. It's completely possible we made him up. I wouldn't put it past us. Subconscious sabotage. And how would we know? We wouldn't know! We couldn't know! That's the joy of the hallucination, we wouldn't know!

GLADYS
Do you know what you're doing? Do you have any idea? You're starting to give us...

WENDY
I know! I know!

(Beat.)

BOTH
HOPE!!!

GLADYS
Just keep it under control.

WENDY
We can handle a little hope.

GLADYS
Sure we can.

WENDY
Just a little.

GLADYS
We won't get too excited.

WENDY
We'll keep it under control.

GLADYS
In perspective.

WENDY
Not get carried away.

GLADYS
You know what happens when we get carried away.

WENDY
Yes, it's awful.

GLADYS
It's always the same.

WENDY
We can't risk it.

GLADYS
No.

WENDY
We've got to stay calm.

GLADYS
Cool.

WENDY
Collected.

(They try to stay calm cool and collected.)

BOTH
(like children) WE'RE NOT GONNA GET EATEN!!! WE'RE NOT GONNA GET EATEN!!!

GLADYS
And it's warm today!

WENDY
Warmer than ever!

GLADYS
Way above freezing!

WENDY
It won't be long now!

GLADYS
We'll thaw!

WENDY
Thaw!

GLADYS
And head home!

WENDY
Home!

GLADYS
In front of the fire.

WENDY
A fire!

GLADYS
Just think.

WENDY
Hot chocolate!

GLADYS
Hot soup!

WENDY
Eggs and sausages!

GLADYS
And toast!

WENDY
Oh! Toast!

GLADYS
It'll all be forgotten!

WENDY
Over and done!

GLADYS
We'll get on with things!

WENDY
Oh! Things!

GLADYS
It won't be long!

WENDY
No, not long now!

(They prepare to thaw.)

GLADYS
No.

WENDY
It won't be long.

(They await their thaw.)

GLADYS
Sooner than we think.

WENDY
It'll take us by surprise.

(They aren't thawing.)

GLADYS
Yes...

WENDY
Yes...

(A long long long silence. Both women start to cry.)

GLADYS
I can't believe it.

WENDY
We did it again.

GLADYS
After all we've been through.

WENDY
We should know better.

GLADYS
We're such fools.

WENDY
Frozen fools.

GLADYS
Doomed.

WENDY
Done for.

GLADYS
Awaiting the inevitable.

WENDY
The unspeakable.

GLADYS
And stupid enough to have...

BOTH
...HOPE!!!

(They sob. Wind takes over the stage. The days go by.)

WENDY
It's not warm today.

GLADYS
No.

WENDY
It's cold.

(Silence.)

GLADYS
How long do you think it's been?

WENDY
It doesn't matter.

GLADYS
Any feeling?

WENDY
Just my nose.

GLADYS
How does it feel?

(Beat. WENDY looks at GLADYS.)

WENDY
It's cold.

(Beat. Wendy looks away.)

GLADYS
Oh. Yes. Of course.

(Beat. The women start to giggle. They exhaust themselves with laughter. The laughter dies down.)

GLADYS
He's going to find us one day.

WENDY
Don't think about it.

GLADYS
One warm day, when we start to smell human again, he's going to find us, he's going to find us and...

WENDY
I said DON'T THINK ABOUT IT!

(Beat.)

GLADYS
You don't have to yell at me.

(Beat. WENDY turns and screams in GLADYS' face. Another beat.)

GLADYS
Sometimes I hate you.

WENDY
Yeah, well, I hate you too.

GLADYS
Sometimes I really REALLY hate you.

WENDY
That's nice.

GLADYS
Doesn't it bother you?

WENDY
No.

GLADYS
NO?!

WENDY
You hate me. Big deal. It's not like you can do anything about it.

GLADYS
Wendy!

WENDY
Don't you wish you could DO something about it Gladys? IT'S DRIVING YOU CRAZY, ISN'T IT? You hate me. You despise me. There is a venom that reaches to the very bottom of your soul and you can't DO a damned thing about it. What are you going to DO about it Gladys?

GLADYS
Don't push me.

WENDY
Oooh. I'm scared.

GLADYS
I could do one thing.

WENDY
What?

GLADYS
I could SAY something.

WENDY
Oh no! Gladys is going to SAY something. Gladys is going to SAY something awful, she's going to tell me again that this is all MY FAULT! Aren't you, you're going to tell me that its MY FAULT MY FAULT ALL OF IT IS MY FAULT. Guess what Gladys? I know! I know we wouldn't be stuck here if it wasn't for me! me and my IDIOCY, my STUPID BLATANT IDIOCY!!! It will always be MY FAULT. Today and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow it will be MY FAULT. After the polar bear has feasted on our frozen carcasses, from now until the end of TIME I know it will always be MY FAULT!!!

(The POLAR BEAR enters. A stifled scream from both the ladies. He moves slowly and casually, circling around several times. He gives out a roaring yawn, curls up, and goes to sleep.)

WENDY
(whispered) Gladys!

GLADYS
(whispered) Hush!

WENDY
(whispered) What'll we do?

GLADYS
(whispered) Nothing, we do nothing. We just stay still and be quiet.

WENDY
(whispered) Stay still and be quiet?

GLADYS
(whispered) Yes!

(A long pause. The POLAR BEAR snores.)

WENDY
(whispered) Gladys?

GLADYS
(whispered) Wendy?

WENDY
(whispered) Is he still there?

GLADYS
(whispered) Yes, he's still there.

(A long pause.)

WENDY
(whispered) Gladys?

GLADYS
(whispered) What?!

WENDY
(whispered) He's been here a long time.

GLADYS
(whispered) Maybe he's hibernating.

(A long pause.)

WENDY
(whispered) I'm afraid.

GLADYS
(whispered) I know.

(A long pause.)

WENDY
(whispered) This is awful.

GLADYS
(whispered) I know.

WENDY
I mean this is really awful.

GLADYS
(whispered) Quiet!

WENDY
Quiet. You want me to be quiet? I don't think I'm going to be quiet. No. I'm not going to be quiet AT ALL.

GLADYS
(whispered) Please!

WENDY
I hope he wakes up! I hope he wakes up and I hope he eats me! Yes. I want to die an agonizing death! I want to die any death! I can't do it anymore, I just can't!

GLADYS
But what about me?

WENDY
To hell with you.

GLADYS
Wendy!

WENDY
You heard me, to hell with you!

GLADYS
You don't know what you're saying!

WENDY
I know what I'm saying! I know exactly what I'm saying!

GLADYS
You can't!

WENDY
Why not? Why not? Should I think about TOMORROW? Should I look forward to ANOTHER DAY? Should I have HOPE?! Should I have HIGH HOPE Gladys?! Should I sing the damned song?!

GLADYS
Stop it!

WENDY
(singing, getting louder and louder)
Just what makes that little old ant!
Think he can move that rubber tree plant!
Everyone knows and ant!
Can't!
Move a rubber tree plant!
But he's got

HIGH HOPE!
I've got
HIGH HOPE!
I've got
High apple pie in the sky HOPE!

So anytime you're getting low
Instead of letting go
Just remember that ANT!

(As WENDY sings at the top of her lungs, the POLAR BEAR starts to wake up. GLADYS starts madly struggling within her block of ice. The POLAR BEAR sits up, fascinated by it all. There is a huge cracking sound as GLADYS breaks free from the ice. She stumbles, falls, and stands. Everyone stops and stares.)

WENDY
Gladys!

GLADYS
Wendy!

WENDY
Gladys...

GLADYS
Wendy...

(They look at each other for a long time. GLADYS takes off for the hills, the POLAR BEAR takes a step towards her, then stops and goes over to WENDY. He looks at her for a while, then begins to swat at her like he's a kitten playing with a mouse. She sings softly.)

WENDY
Whoops there goes another rubber tree,
Whoops there goes another rubber tree,
Whoops there goes another rubber tree plant.

BLACKOUT

return to top of page